Infertility: Coping During Holiday Season

The holiday season is often seen as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for couples struggling with infertility, it can also bring feelings of sadness, frustration, and grief.

Seeing others share pregnancy announcements or celebrate with their children can be a painful reminder of your own journey. These emotions are valid and common, and it’s important to acknowledge them with compassion rather than guilt.

Tips for Navigating the Festive Season When You’re Struggling to Conceive

• Acknowledge that feeling upset or overwhelmed is normal.
• Create a self-care plan to protect your emotional wellbeing.
• Reach out for support from trusted loved ones or your healthcare provider.

Below, we explore practical ways to manage emotions during the festive season and advice for family and friends who want to offer genuine support.

It’s Normal to Feel Upset About Fertility Struggles

If you’re finding it hard to cope during the holidays, you’re not alone. Many people facing infertility feel heightened emotions at this time of year. Seeing others with children or hearing pregnancy news can evoke sadness, anger, jealousy, or helplessness, all perfectly understandable reactions.

The key is to acknowledge your emotions rather than suppress them. Expressing how you feel through journalling, therapy, or open conversations can help prevent your emotions from becoming overwhelming.

Support Your Wellbeing With a Self-Care Plan

The holidays are often focused on giving to others, but remember to give back to yourself, too. Creating a self-care plan can help you prepare emotionally and mentally for the season ahead.

Write a list of activities that help you feel calm and grounded. This could include journalling, gentle exercise, reading, or spending quiet time outdoors. Keep this list handy to refer to when you’re feeling low.

Planning ahead for social events and family gatherings can also help. It’s okay to set boundaries and protect your mental health. Here are a few suggestions for managing challenging situations:

• Politely let family members know in advance if you prefer not to discuss fertility.
• Take breaks during gatherings to rest or regulate your emotions.
• Try to focus on shared moments and conversations unrelated to pregnancy.
• If you feel up to it, engage with children in the family to enjoy the moment without pressure.
• Give yourself permission to leave early or skip events if needed, your wellbeing comes first.

Struggling With Infertility? Reach Out for Support

Infertility can be isolating, especially during the holidays, but you don’t have to face it alone. Speaking with a counsellor, psychologist, or fertility support specialist can help you process emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.

Joining infertility support groups, in person or online, can also be incredibly comforting. Connecting with others who understand your experience helps normalise your feelings and reminds you that you’re not alone.

How to Support Loved Ones Experiencing Infertility

If you have a friend or family member who is struggling to conceive, you may not always know what to say, or what not to say. While comments like “When are you having a baby?” or “It will happen when you relax!” might be well-intentioned, they can unintentionally cause pain or add pressure.

Here are some thoughtful ways to show genuine support:

• Ask open-ended questions such as, “How are you feeling?” and let them share as much (or as little) as they want.
• Talk about other aspects of their life including work, hobbies, travel, or recent achievements.
• Offer sincere compliments or appreciation, such as noticing a meal they prepared or acknowledging something they’ve accomplished.
• If they do open up, listen without offering advice. Supportive phrases like “That sounds really hard” or “I’m here for you if you want to talk” can mean far more than trying to fix the situation.
• A simple gesture, such as a hug or a kind message, can go a long way.

The most important thing is to follow their lead. Let them set the boundaries for what they’re comfortable discussing, and remind them that you’re there whenever they’re ready.

Final Thoughts

The holiday season can be bittersweet for those facing infertility. While it may bring up feelings of grief or longing, remember that these emotions don’t diminish your strength or resilience.

Be gentle with yourself, make space for rest and self-care, and lean on people who understand and support you. By planning ahead and nurturing your emotional health, you can move through the season with more ease and compassion, for yourself and for others.

If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility or emotional distress, consider reaching out to your GP, counsellor, or a fertility support organisation for help and guidance.